Mama Date

Earlier this week I was on the phone with my sister and we were talking about how to survive the "fat" stage of pregnancy. She is nearly into her second trimester and still fighting the early signs of pregnancy with tight jeans and extra weight without a baby bump to feel "productive." Oh, I remember those days. I shared with her how I survived the days of feeling so very large. Lipstick. It's true. When I felt everything but beautiful I would go to the grocery store to get produce for the week and come out with a cheap tube of lipstick snuggled in my load of fruits and vegetables. When I got into the car I would whip out my lipstick smear a bit on my lips, and smile. I could make it. 

Gracin goes everywhere with me; rarely do I leave him to do anything. He waters the yard with me, runs errands with me, gathers the mail with me, makes beds with me, and follows me around the house in his bouncer, room to room chores delighting him as he wiggles and watches, intrigued. I love him being my constant friend in the house. I know that by him being by my side as he grows we will be constantly learning together. NEVER would I change that! 

But today I left Gracin, sleeping, with his daddy who was doing homework for the Air Force class he is taking, and went to Walmart for a small list. No, nothing on the list was MANDATORY (I really only needed mascara), but it was essential for Mama to get out for an hour. That is all I was gone, one hour to think, to pray, to sing in the car, to enjoy browsing without trying to finish before baby woke up in the carrier. 

Scanning mascaras in pleasant silence. Eyeing eyeliners and lipstick shades with lingered steps rather than a quick decision to rush back to the car. Enjoying a moment to walk across the store to snag a bag of trash bags and pick up a box of "essential unmentionables"--just myself in tow. I know it may sound bad to some, but an hour to leave baby with daddy and go to Walmart can at times be just what this mama needs to refocus and regroup. 

As I left the store, spending $18 and feeling so rejuvinated, I stopped, fished for some quarters, and bought a bottle of Pepsi from a vending machine. I couldn't drink but a few sips as my body instantly repelled the sugar, but I brought the rest home to daddy, thankful for time. 

I now realize I need to make some "mama" time during the day to be alone with God and put myself in order. From the time I roll out of bed to baby's hungry morning cries until I put him down and collapse beneath the covers each night I am a busy house-tender, baby-lover, husband-focused wife. And I forget that Mama needs to breathe too, even if that is getting up when baby wakes me instead of going back to bed for more sleep when he does. Sometimes I need quiet, alone moments rather than extra sleep. Funny what a trip to Walmart can teach you.....