Monday, February 13, 2012

Take It Like a Man

So Long Insecurity is still kicking my tail. I haven't had as much time to read this past week as I wanted, but I am still over 200 pages into my reading and I have realized a most embarrassing, yet revealing, fact about my insecurities.....


I'm not kidding.

The last chapter I read discussed how we as women need to view the men in our lives with similar insecurities to our own. Beth's point was that we cannot cling to our men for our security--because they are barely keeping their own security in check!

In her description of men's insecurity, she used this quote from a man, "When I feel insecure, I clam up and turn inward, and depending ont he situation, I might be snippy or depressed. Sometimes I pretend like there's no problem at all so she won't see what I'm feeling and thinking" (192).

After reading that section, I handed the book to my husband. "Read that and tell me who you think of."

He read for a moment and then met my eyes. "Oh, that's you."

"Kyle, that's the chapter on how men deal with insecurity."

He chuckled.


"Generally speaking, men withdraw when they feel insecure--and women cling" (195).

I'm not a clinger. In fact, I'm the exact opposite. If I feel like I am not fitting or going to get hurt by someone I care about, I pull away. Usually this process is demonstrated by the crossing of my arms in a protective gesture across my chest, the clenching of my lips, and the physical steps I take away from the person speaking to or ignoring me.

Inside I am wanting to cling, but outwardly I push away. I'm weird. I admit it.

I deal with my insecurity like a man.

My poor husband. I'm sure he has no idea what to do with me sometimes.

Perhaps one of the most challenging areas of this book so far was the prayer Beth writes that covers all of 10 pages--and I highlighted most of it. I saw myself in so many convicting areas. Reading and pondering this prayer daily is a necessity I would say, until I get into the habit of claiming God's diginity and rejecting the insecurity.

I won't lie, I don't have this beast tamed. It bugged me so much yesterday that I couldn't focus in church. I keep thinking that in time certain insecurities will go away, but I know better. Insecurities that keep me from focusing on worship will not pass, they will plague.

My next steps in this book will take me more into how to fight insecurity, and Lord willing I will finish most of the book this week.

How are you handling your insecurities these days? I'd love to hear your input on if you handle insecurity like a man or a woman....there's no shame in being honest. ;)


Krissy said...

Oh wow!!!! You just described me to a T... Yikes... I've been thinking a lot about this stuff recently. I think mainly because I'm getting married in 4 months and I've been noticing my insecurity coming out quite often in our relationship. It seriously bugs me because I know it confuses my fiance, but at the same time it's like I can't help it. Yes, I realize that I'm a mess...

God's Gal Sarah said...

You aren't alone in feeling a mess, girl! I'm right there with you, as I'm sure many are.

Yes, it is hard hard HARD on our men to accept our insecurities at times. My sweet husband has been so understanding and encouraging, but I can see his frustration when I "need" him to constantly affirm me in order for my heart to feel calmed and needed.

One thing I have learned from reading this book is: WE CAN HELP IT!!! That's the most awesome news for insecure women like me, no one can take my security--I give it away. I don't have to stay insecure, I can choose to be secure.

Glad to know we are fighting this together :)