Friday, September 2, 2011

Dear Baby

Dear, Baby,

Your daddy is asleep in bed (probably on my side and pulling covers) while I am sitting in the living room since I can't sleep, can't breathe, can't swallow, and can't keep anything down. Don't worry, I don't blame you. The throwing up is because you are getting bigger, and the cold I have is making the other symptoms worse when I lay down.

Right now you are so tiny--not much bigger than a prune. Sometimes I forget you are there, until I look in the mirror. You are a little pooch under my shirt, just enough so that I know you are growing. But more than the pooch, I know you are there when I throw up in the mornings, fall asleep in the afternoons, and have hot flashes at night. No, this isn't the fun time of your growth for mama, but it will be SO worth it in 7 months when I hold you in my arms rather than my womb. I wish I could kiss your nose at 3 AM when I wake up to go pee (again), but I praise God that you are currently safe and getting bigger every day.

I am preparing my life for your arrival even now. See, I want to be the best mama possible for you. I want to be ready to grow you in the knowledge of Jesus Christ and teach you what it means to obey Him in your actions. I want to be prepared to handle your sicknesses, know your ailments, understand your needs, and be ready when you get hurt and I can't always help protect you. I won't be perfect, but I will be seeking the Perfect One who will guide and direct me.

Your daddy and I grow more excited as we watch you grow. We follow your development and long for the day when you are ours to have and to hold, to teach and to train, and to love and cherish.

I'm learning a lot these days. God is teaching me not to take more on my plate than I can handle. He is reminding me that my priority is to take care of Daddy, and to take care of myself. I have been so busy that I haven't always gotten to do those things lately, but He is reminding me that my family is my first priority, and you are a big part of my family. It is humbling to be reminded that I am not Superwoman--and I can't do everything. God is using you to teach me that lesson, and what a precious reminder you are.

I love you, precious little one. I pray you grow quickly, safely, and healthily as I seek to be a healthy mama for you. I pray God's protection over you...and I praise Him for those moments when I throw up. Why? Because YOU are my beloved child, the reminder of my husband's love, and the joy of my morning sickness.

Grow quickly, baby.

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