Tuesday, October 13, 2009

From the Heart Cometh Forth.....

God has been really stepping on my toes lately. And boy, I am loving it! Usually, the thought of God bringing conviction makes me nervous. But I have been craving the freedom and the answers He has brought recently.

One of the biggest things that He showed me is this....He and I basically had a conversation....

Me: Glum. Frustrated. Feeling entrapped by my life as I watched others walk by.
God: "Sarah, are you not happy with your life? Are you not happy with how things are or the decisions you have made? Are you not happy with your choice to live healthy? Are you not happy with your separation from the influences that hurt you so much last semester?"
Me: "Why, Yes, God, You know I am."
God: "Then why is it not showing on your face?"

DUH! Sometimes we need those eureka! moments that make us say, "I'm so dumb" =)
I don't know why I resisted this before. Well, ok, I do.

As I watched the world live and make choices that seemed so "fun," I began to compare to my life and believe that somehow I was unhappy with who I was. But it dawned on me, I was not dissatisfied with who I was, but afraid to walk in my lifestyle alone.

No one wants to be alone. No one wants to make decisions that cause them to sit lonely in their dorm room because everyone else is doing something that goes against all beliefs. But in those moments, we have to remember that we are never alone.

My sister sent me a text message this afternoon that read something like this:
"Remember sarah...if the world hates you it hated Christ first. If they persecuted Him, they will persecute you. Don't be afraid...and remember that when you feel alone, He was lonely first..for you and me"

How true this is--and how badly I needed it! Even Christ's friends ran or denied even knowing Him...so who am I to feel glum because somehow I am making choices that might label me unpopular? So if I am truly satisfied with the life God has given me, how can it not show on my face?

SUCH PEACE! SUCH RELEASE! SUCH FREEDOM! Praise Jesus for moments of a little "toe stomping" =)

Because He lives,

1 comment:

Dionna said...

I have those moments too. I'm glad you could tap into what the cause may be and I hope you can hold onto that.