Friday, December 7, 2012

When You Feel Dry

Sometimes I feel emotionally and spiritually like a desert. My soul cracks like water deprived dirt begging for a mere drop of healing. While sometimes this condition attempts to frighten me, I am reminded I can crawl into my Father's lap with His Word clenched in my hands...finding peace, healing, and a balm for my soul. Most often I find these periods of severe spiritual drought are based on unconfessed and sin in an unrepentant heart or overwhelming guilt.

Two years ago, while my husband and I were engaged, I went to a friend's house to babysit her boys while she went out for the evening. She gave me ample hours to feed the boys, get them to bed, and tackle college homework. I was sick of homework at the time. Instead of reading my then pressing English novel, I reached for the Bible I found on the side table. (Becca, if you are reading this, I'm sorry if you think this was invasion of privacy.)

To me, my Bible is as personal as my journal. You would find underlinings, highlighted verses, sermon notes, dates (as if certain verses were a personal heart cry on a particular day), and even tear stains as a broken heart found joy and rebuke from the Lord. I love opening a sister's Bible and seeing her heart laid out on the pages as well.

I remember Becca's Bible on that day....notes were scribbled in the front cover, small scraps of paper were pushed into pages, and I slowly flipped through, reading each one. In that moment, things she had underlined and notes in the front of her Bible were a balm to a heart that needed it. So I did what any desperate person does when they never want to forget the things they read....I rummaged through her kitchen drawers until I found a piece of scrap paper and pen.

I read those notes with hunger, as if I were starving. Sin was making me dry then, and often it makes me dry now. Satan tries to destroy my growth by keeping me away from the Father. Becca's Bible notes still ring true in moments of drought.

"Satan's Deadly 'D's'

Discouragement: makes you look at yourself and your problems rather than God.

Doubt: makes you doubt God's goodness.

Delay: makes you put off doing the good so it never gets done.

Diversion: makes the bad look so good you want it more.

Defeat: makes you feel like a failure so you don't even try."

If you are dry, like I am, it's time to examine what "deadly 'D's'" you are accepting. Don't let Satan convince you drought is normal. Rid your heart of sin. Confession, repentance, and a second chance is a good start to a rain on your cracked, dry heart.

My friend Becca doesn't live here anymore. I wish she did. There are days when I would love to go sit on her couch and flip through her Bible with her by my side to teach and encourage. I hope a sister finds my Bible as encouraging.

1 comment:

beccaellis said...

Dear Sarah,

I have been thinking about how to respond to this post. My normal inclination would be to make a joke or be sarcastic, but I don't think I'm going to go that route.

I'm not sure who taught me about the deadly "Ds." If I knew, I'd tell you to thank them. I'm glad I took good notes if they were able to bless you :-)

I think the key here Sarah is a teachable heart. God rewards those who earnestly seek Him. You went to His Word because you were thirsty. He gave you something to drink. You are welcome to dig through my Bible any time you want and I'll bet if you leave yours in a public place in your home that one day someone will go to your when looking for hope.

Thanks for the post. Keep it up girl. You encourage me.