Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Dear Husband

Dear Husband,

You are out playing in the last church softball game right now. I have finally put Gracin down for bed after changing, what I believe to be, the fourth dirty diaper today. There is a stack of gross diapers in the laundry room waiting on me to wash, but after a long day of bleaching floors I am taking a break.

I can't tell you how incredible you have been during this pregnancy. We both think back to how hard it was to have been married only a couple months when morning sickness hit the first time. You missed your "newlywed" wife, and I missed the ability to enjoy your kisses without throwing up. When the test showed positive this time, I worried about you and how difficult a second sickness would be so quickly upon the first. But you have been so very selfless.

Thank you for holding my hair each morning as I heave into the commode. I keep trying to push you back to bed, or off to work, but you never leave me. Bless you, there is still that dazed look of "sleepy" in your eyes as you blow on my hot neck and hold my hair. The times I have thrown up while you are gone have seemed so lonely. Thanks for being a part of my sickness, it makes me feel like we are in this together.

Thank you for taking Gracin once you get home and keeping him occupied so I can cook, do laundry, or rest with free hands. You have fallen into step with me and changed gross diapers while telling our son, "let's do this so mama doesn't have to smell you." Kyle, you have fed bottles, baby food jars, and snacks so I could rest. You.are.amazing. It makes me smile inside when I see you toss him into the air and cuddle on the couch, both of you chuckling over something he does. You are an amazing father, and I can't thank you for helping me.

Thank you for being scared with me yesterday when the first nurse couldn't find our little "jellybean's" heartbeat. I was so terrified we had lost this pregnancy, but you came up to me, held my face, and brushed away my tears. You were scared too. When the second nurse came and skillfully found the precious sound of our baby's heartbeat, we looked at each other and breathed deeply. It was in that moment that I saw just how excited you were about our second child--and I fell in love with you all over again.

Thank you for doing dishes, helping sweep floors, fold laundry, or letting things lay a bit messy for the night so you could cuddle a nauseous woman on the couch as we skim through episodes of Everybody Loves Raymond on Netflix. We are learning a lot together on this journey of parenthood and marriage. I wouldn't want to do it with anyone else.

You are a trooper, darling. I know there are more days of frozen pizza for dinner, apologies for sandwiches because I have no energy to cook, and messy house left  for us. But thank you, thank you, thank you, for being my best friend during these tough days. Thank you for your prayers, your hugs, your kisses on the cheek when I'm so nauseous you can't kiss my lips, and the way you care for our son. What an amazing man you are. I'm blessed you're mine.

Your pregnant wife.

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