She Called Me a Beast

I have been working with the teenage girls in the youth group at my church lately. Such a sweet group of young ladies! I sometimes struggle with connection--especially with the popular girls in a class. Never having been popular myself, I am more comfortable reaching out to the girl sitting by herself struggling to fit in. God has certainly blessed and I have been able to connect with a couple of the more popular girls in the group and I have endeavored to visit with them on Sunday mornings.

This past Sunday was quite hillarious. Two of the girls had spend the past night at the drive-in watching Eclipse and The Karate Kid--Team Jacob" fans of course. They had hyped themselves up on energy drinks, soda, candy, and popcorn and had stayed awake until 4 in the morning. I honestly don't know how they could find a vampire movie that exciting, but that's why I'm not a teenager. =) When I encountered these beautiful girls (and let me tell you they are gorgeous teenagers) they were sitting on the couch in the youth room with energy drinks in hand--texting and giggling at random things. I sat down with them and God blessed the moment so I could visit and genuinely laugh and joke with them. I wish I could remember the conversation leading up to her comment, but one of the girls laughed at something I had done and said, "YOU ARE A BEAST!" I was so honored. I gave her a high five. See, in teenage speak, being a beast means you are a hard worker....you are amazing....you might even be called AWESOME. And she called me...ME...a beast. Who knew I had it in me?! I felt like an "in crowd" for once! But if only she knew...if only she knew how often I felt so opposite from a beast. Of late, I have felt more like a gnat buzzing along the highway and finding myself instead a splat on sin's windshield. No, sweet teenager, I'm not a beast--I'm a gnat.

Getting to be around girls younger than me has certainly heightened my sense of personal standing with God. I look at them and their struggles and am reminded that they are looking to me for the example of how to live and walk. As my dad says, "Sarah, don't stumble. They will fall right on top of you." I am humbled by this responsiblity....and a little nervous. What if I fail?! What if I mess up even more than I have?! I believe that sometimes having someone look up to you is the best thing that can happen to make you focused on what is really important. As crass as it sounds, my dad's words ring true: "Sarah, get your head out."

I'll never be a beast. I'll always fail. But if I am following Him, Lord willing they will see HIM...and He is a beast. He is the Lion. I am the gnat.

Because He lives,
Sarah